Baby Boom
by Sailor Frogspawn
Summary: Something horrible has happened to Ranma. The curse is not so innocent as it first seems...
1. Default Chapter

Cologne looked at the wrecked corpse of her former son-in-law. The little redhead lay there, her distended stomach split widely open with what appeared to be frogspawn welling out of it.  
  
"What happened here?" she asked the shaken girl standing next to the body.  
  
Akane took a moment to wrestle with herself mentally before she told Cologne exactly what had happened. It was embarrassing to talk about!  
  
"After the run in with the Dojo Destroyer, we were sweeping up the dojo when I found a packet of Instant Nannichuan. I know I shouldn't have done it, but I couldn't resist it!" said the nervous girl. "I picked it up and kept it. I just couldn't stop thinking of it!"  
  
"Well, a few months later I told Ranma I had the packet. I really, really wanted to try it, and eventually, I managed to persuade him. He changed, I used the packet... and we did it... It was wonderful! Once was not enough, so we did it again and again. I managed to avoid hot water for four days!  
  
"We knew something was wrong almost immediately, though. Ranma couldn't change back to a boy. She hadn't tried for those four days, but when she finally did try, she didn't take it very well. That wasn't the worst, though. About two weeks later we noticed Ranma's stomach starting to bulge.  
  
"It was horrible. Every day it was larger, and it even seemed to grow as we watched. After a month, Ranma couldn't move any more, and a few days later, I was feeding her when there was an awful explosion and this happened. What went wrong?!"  
  
Cologne sighed and moved back. "Akane," she said, "how much do you know about human biology? In particular, the reproductive parts?"  
  
"What they told us in Sex Ed classes," Akane replied  
  
"Well, you know, then, that boys have sperm and girls have eggs. A boy, however, has thousands if not millions of sperm, whereas a girl only has one egg at a time. When you change sexes with the curse eggs and sperm are changed into each other.  
  
"When you became a boy, you only had one sperm after the change. But boys generate sperm rapidly and after two days in male form you had thousands. Son-in-law, however, had thousands of sperm when he became a girl, and as a result, she had thousands of eggs! When your sperm met her eggs the inevitable happened: a hugely multiple pregnancy.  
  
The old woman and Akane fell silent, each alone with their thoughts, until Akane finally spoke up. "Is this what they mean by Baby Boom?"  
  
Cologne whacked Akane over the head with her staff.  
  
--OWARI-- 


	2. 20 years on

On a dark cold night, the terrified man ran through the deserted construction yard. One by one he had seen his companions fall, each cut down in one shot by the lethal weapons their foes bore. 

Slipping behind a row of drums, he crouched, trying to still his breath and quiet his clamouring heart, so that he could listen out for his pursuers. Nothing could be heard though, except the random background noises that were always present.

Slowly, as the silence extended, he began to calm down. Maybe he'd manage to lose those following him. If so, he'd try to escape the city. Go north into the vast woods where no-one lived. Living wild would be tough, but at least there was a chance there. Here there was no chance. Maybe he got away tonight, but soon the exterminator squads would get him.

Was he the last man left alive? The Amazon rulers had been implacable at eradicating the weaker sex and after his last companion had died,he'd seen no men at all. The Amazon deathsquads and their terrifying man-killer weapons had been just too effective.

Suddenly a soft voice called out behind him. "Hello cutey."

Spinning around, he saw his doom. The Amazon warrioress stood there smiling at him, her mankiller weapon raised, a few drops of liquid already dripping from it's muzzle.

She winked cutely at him, then squeezed... and his world shattered.

Xiao Chan sighed. What a mess. Still, at least this assignment was over and maybe the construction crews liked duck eggs. Her partner joined her, and looked at the huge white and yellow mass that was all that was left of their target.

"Big one. Our man must have been quite the stud! I hear that the scanners think he may be the last as well. Be a shame to give this up. You can't beat the thrill of the chase" she said

Xiao agreed. "The end of an era. I hope they do find some more though, I'd hate to give up my mankiller. There's something so much fun about watching your target explode before your eyes. The eating can be quite good too. Now where is the beak..." Xiao rummaged around until with a triumphant cry she straightened up holding a duck beak

"There it is. I'll add that to my display case back at the house"

Later on, Xiao was back home, the display case on the table in front of her open. Carefully she mounted her new prize, noting the time and place of acquisition below it. Her daughter, Jade, looked on curiously,

"Why do the men turn into ducks?" she asked

"The mankiller does it to them. It turns them into ducks and kills them at the same time. I don't really understand how it works, but I'm sure you can find out more on the Net if you want." Xiao answered

Later on Jade did just that, logging on and entering 'mankiller'  
and 'duck' in as search terms. Amongst the ubiquitous breast-enlargement sites there were a few interesting sites. One in particular caught her eye, entitled 'Experiments with the Spring of Drowned Duck', by Lo-Xion of the Joketsuzoku. Opening the document she read.

---

It all started when I went to Jusenkyo one day to collect some herbs that grow there. One of the ponds was covered with a white and yellow mass. It didn't look like any sort of plant I've ever seen, in fact it smelled like nothing so much as omelette! Upon closer inspection my first impression was verified. It was indeed omelette, albeit HUGE.

What could have created this? Did some maniac camper decide to cook up thousands of eggs and leave them here?

Well it turned out that there was a visitor yesterday. A boy named Mousse had come here to learn the secrets of the place, and apparently was never seen leaving again. He was a well known boy around the village and indeed he hadn't been seen that day. There was obviously some connection between the mass of omelette on the Spring of Drowned Duck and this boy, but what?

The clue turned out to be in the spring itself and the way it worked when it converted people into ducks. The conversion changes each cell, altering what needs to be changed to convert the cell into a duck cell and reforming the body as it goes. Howevever the duck differs from the human in the way it handles gender. In humans,  
XY indicates male, whereas in a duck, XY is female. Any men dropping into that pool change into female ducks.

No big deal you might think, except what it does to the reproductive organs as well. As is the case for all male/female changes, sperm change into eggs and vice versa. When a man falls into that pool,  
he changes into a female duck with thousands of eggs inside her! The immediate result is a massive explosion and a large omelette.  
And a very very dead duck.

Thus was born the mankiller. A weapon who's slightest touch will kill a man, but if used on a woman will only turn her into a duck, and a quick application of girl water will cure that.

Once the council heard this, they took it as a sign from the heavens and the eradication of men began.

---

Jade finished reading. A mystery had been made clear. Finally she knew the meaning of the logo on the side of the mankiller. Just one word. 'Supersoaker'

The End


End file.
